[x]

RelapseIt’s like counting
Saturn’s rings,
hash marks
along your limbs -
remembering a time
when

‘just one more’

made you feel better.

- & you’re sitting there
wondering why
Draco, stuck in limbo
always looks like he’s

falling.

Does that make me Different?I wear make up. Does that make me fake?
I cry. Does that make me emo?
I have male friends. Does that make me slutty?
I smile a lot. Does that make me weird?
I laugh loud. Does that make me preppy?
I have anxiety. Does that make me a freak?
I have Bipolar Disorder. Does that make me abnormal?
I respect people. I change for me, and only me. I have a past, but I know I have a future.
Does that make me different?
Maybe.
But at least it makes me
Me.

UneditedWe cry.
We scream.
We fight for our dream.

We scream.
We cry.
We're just waiting to die.

The same emotions
with a different drive.
Sometimes dead, sometimes alive.

The same in one way,
different in another
brother and sister, sister and brother.

So close in feeling,
so different in the end.
Falling apart, or finally on the mend?

Which am I?
Will I ever know?
Fighting to stay or ready to go?

Maybe I'm both,
in some impossible way.
Emotions oddly mixed everyday.

Wouldn't surprise.
I'm such a freak.
Excuse me, I laugh, I should call it "unique"

WorthlessWorthless,
the name that cuts like a knife,
Me,
it's all that you see inside,
My heart,
is breaking with every breath I take
The lies,
the only thing I can't seem to face.

Battle in my MindEat.
Don't eat.
Take it easy.
Work out until you pass out.
Get help.Tell someone.
Keep it a secret. It's only for you and me.
You're perfect.
You're worthless.
You're beautiful.
You're disgusting.
Why won't you listen?
They don't understand.
Let me help you.
You don't understand.
Show me.
No!
I love you..

In The Daylight

In The Daylight

A false downfall
An unexpected revival

Sunset to moonset
Shining through darkness

Life...redefined
Death...redesigned

In the valley of promises- I will fear no end
On the brink of weakness- I will ascend
-
Roads of the toughest
Paths of the darkest

I conditioned my flawed limits
So fearful memories won't be paralytic

I had to raise my own spirit
Strength and endurance become so vivid

A chance for change / A moment of fate
A time to make peace / A brief feeling of creed
A sealing of my slate / A silencing of my mistakes
A secret ready to be freed / A chain soon-to-be incomplete

Pain and peace are infinite
Judge the wrat

wallflower clippingsthere's scar tissue in her throat,
swollen around the words she never said;
dark rings around her eyes
like planets unremembered, and
a staleness to her touch,
the crystalline Dead Sea.

she's living like a story
that's already been told
"if no one loved you
would you mean anything at all?"

in that moment,
we forget to exist.

We are the King and Queen of Broken DreamsStanding still in a mine field, staring at all we have left.
We were so young, we didn’t stop to think.
Now we’re in a car crash, teetering on the brink.
If you were to leave me now, I don’t know what I’d do.

It was a whirl wind romance,
A light when all was black, a spark of something when all was bleak.
You swept me off my feet and made me feel brand new.
I thought we could live forever and I’m certain you did to.

We built a house without foundations
And now we’re falling down,
Everything’s crumbling around us, time slipping through out fingertips.
People used to walk past us but they were to drunk to see,
That our lives are coming apart around us, there is no light as far as we can see.

There was no fire to start with,
Just two broken things, the world had left behind.
The casualties of other people’s dreams of power, money and control,
Spat out onto the curb to rot away and die.
We never stood a chance or so

Our MasksThe masks we wear are perfect
Never loose and rarely tight
They keep us safe from others
And keep our demons out of sight

They smile when we are broken
And laugh when we simply must
No blemish or imperfection
A creation that will never rust.

I seldom ever remember
Who I am without my mask
That to peel off that layer
Is such a daunting task

All others carry one as well
Wherever they may go
And no matter what is on their minds
Only the molded mask will show.

The lies they preach in public
Or the scars along their wrists
Are left mute to others knowledge
Ignorance is such a splendid gift

My mask is oh so perfect
Not a crack will show
Alway

Her SideTomorrow she'll be gone,
but what can you say?
Nothing can help her.
The pain won't go away.

But she would've stopped,
you could've said no.
That's what she wanted,
someone to say don't go.

That someone wanted her,
or at least would try.
That someone would grieve
if she were to die.

But you just stared,
nodding your head,
and she realized the truth
with a feeling of dread.

No one wanted her.
No one cared.
Not even you,
with the the love you shared.

So she said good-bye,
and you watched her leave.
She may have had the rope,
but now you can't breathe.

LonelyLonely.
Unnoticed.
People don't even look
when they walk by.
Always ignored...
Nobody even asks my ideas,
my opinion.
Nobody even knows
who I am.
When people see me,
they either ignore me,
or ask a question:
"Who are you?"
But they don't even bother
to listen to my response:
"I'm Canada."
Forgotton.
Forgotton by everyone.
Forgotton by my friends, my allies.
Maybe one day
Someone will remember my name.
Canada.

Falling off the EdgeDo you know what it feels like?
To nearly fall off the edge,
but not quite...
just so that you're dangling;
clinging for your worthless life
lest it fall into the sea of loneliness.
Your callused, pink fingers turning
to a shade of purplish-red of pain
as it does it best to hold on.

Splash.

In the sea of loneliness,
everything is crisp, translucent.
There is nothing around you,
you are alone...
unlike other people,
you have no one
clamouring to save you;
you have no one
diving in to get you out.

There is no point
screaming for help,
you will only waste
the little time and air you have left.
You only have the darkness
of the sea envelop

Honesty Written

from the

heart.

No eraser.

Ode to the boy with diamonds for eyesI think we were a collision course waiting to happen
And when I think back to the day when we first
Stumbled across one another, red sneakers hanging off gutters
Cherry cola voice overs and dilated pupils
We led one another on to believe in the night sky of connect the dot constellations

You wanted to dissect me and peer into the insides of my lungs
Only to find witches breath and dandelions
Slicing iron vowels you locked your hands in mine
And we fell into the static of dreaming disease
The operating table broke away to reveal a sky that never existed
And we couldn't help but laugh at the irony
Because wishing was never an option
The ane

PerfectEver had the feeling where you can't stop looking at a picture?
Your gorgeous face makes me smile
Go weak at the knees
Makes me giggle like a little girl

Those morning texts
All day conversations
Random silly things like that
Make me smile

I see the led light flash the colours I've set for when I get a message from you
My heart flutters
My cheeks flush
I go deaf to the world when I'm reading a message from you

If your down
I'm always there for you
I know you don't want to worry me
I know you want me to smile
But I'm always here for you
No matter how you feel
I'd prefer to help
Than for you to be down

Your gorgeous eyes
Are mesmerising
You

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More from *Aki-Lesete

freedomif i were a wolf
i would howl at the moon
not from sorrow
but from freedom
i would run through the woods
and pounce on every shaddow
not for fun
but for freedom
i would make no mistakes
not because i was afraid of failure
but because of freedom
but i am not a wolf
and i cannot howl at the moon
nor run through the trees
or make no mistakes
i am but a dove
trapped in a cage
singing to the sky
holding onto false hope
wishing for freedom

turn forward timeas time goes on i seem to realize what i fool i was
i wish i could turn forward time
no, i wouldn't want to turn back time
to change my mistakes
i would turn forward time
so that i could see what a fool i am now
and make the best of today
and make the best of myself

to late for answersi met someone who was about to die
so i sat down and started to cry
but through my tears i realized
that someone had not closed his eyes
so i started to ask questions i had to know
and my tears soon stopped their flow
is life worth living?
should you spend your life giving?
is the world as beautiful as they say?
is life a game that we should all play?
are the good times worth the bad?
are peoples lives mostly sad?
is death as peaceful as we think?
are peoples sanity pushed to the brink?
and i kept asking questions as the time flied
but my questions weren't answered because he died

books always endI always skip to the end of a book before I read it. I’ve never known why.
I guess because, if it turns out to be sad, I don’t want to cry
And if it ends well, then I have hope for the rest
Because books with happy endings usually turn out the best.

Why go through the misery of sadness and things going wrong
You can check how it will end before it all, so why prolong?
why take the time to read a book just to end upset
if you can check first and have your own safety net

why live life when it ends with death
if after a while you take your last breath
there’s no point in living, can’t you see?
Oh wait, we were talking about books, weren’t we?

dude, he's highDude, he’s high.
High on his pedestal,
Afraid to come down
And walk along with the rest of us
With his head in the clouds
Holding on to his dreams
Afraid to let go
With clouds made of smoke
And rain made of tears
Trying his best
To hold onto hope

denialHey, where are you? we had a party for you yesterday. you always loved the color black, didn't you? even though when you didn't show up, people cried, don’t worry because I trust you. something probably came up. We had this small rectangular box-like table with flowers for you on it. And your picture too. And I’m sure you are laughing right now. You always were vain, like when you said that people didn't like taking pictures of you, the camera’s were just drawn to your magnetic beauty. And you were right. You were beautiful. Your eyes that sparkled whenever you smiled; like you knew a little secret that only you knew. That smile shined brighter than the sun. that was the smile you had in that picture. Anyways, where are you? I want to see that smile again…
…
hey, it’s been, like, a week? Where are you? your family is worried for you. are you okay? I know you are, but why haven’t you called? Your parents

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Submitted: December 30, 2012
Submitted with: Sta.sh Writer

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into the darkness and hide

by *Aki-Lesete, Dec 30, 2012, 2:19:58 AM
Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

those eyes that used to sparkle

are now lifeless and dull

i cant feel his love anymore

he's just a body without a soul

those arms that used to hold me

are now cold and still

and no matter how much i want him to move

i know he never will

he has left me will all this pain

to suffer without him by my side

i know i will never be ok again

i'll just go into the darkness and hide

into the darkness and hideby *Aki-Lesete

Literature / Poetry / Emotional / Free Verse

~DeaththePuppy Jan 2, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

I know that feeling all to well from past relationships

*Aki-Lesete Jan 2, 2013

sad

~DeaththePuppy Jan 2, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

Yeah had a few bad relationship experiences in my life so far.

*Aki-Lesete Jan 2, 2013

that sucks. why do we bother with love when we know well get our hearts broken?

~DeaththePuppy Jan 2, 2013 Hobbyist Writer

That is because the good moments make it all worth it.

*Aki-Lesete Jan 2, 2013

ya... true

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into the darkness and hide

into the darkness and hideby *Aki-Lesete

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